your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
