belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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