hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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