were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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