No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
