When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
