dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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