I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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