Christians are straight up FREAKS
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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