After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
