just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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