I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
