How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
