Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
