im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
