You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
