lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
