two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
