Got a toothbrush?
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
