I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So vagazzling was a success
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
