I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
