I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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