She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
