just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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