I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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