Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Randomize
