so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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