nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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