i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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