I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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