I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
