Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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