is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
