nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
