He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
