Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
