We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
