He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
