some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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