her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
