The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
