Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Life without a bra equals bliss.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
