i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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