I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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