If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
