So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
