Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's shark week go big or go home
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
