He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Quick, to the slutcave!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
