At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
