You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
