just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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