she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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