you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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