It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
