Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am spending my child support on dildos
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
