You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
